Acceptance: Staying With Yourself
Acceptance is often described as an arrival. A moment when everything settles and finally makes sense. But for many women, acceptance is not a destination. It is something quieter. Something that unfolds slowly, in fragments, in the space between one difficult decision and the next.
On International Day of Acceptance, we are invited to reflect not only on how society accepts difference, but on how women learn to accept themselves after experiences that have taught them to doubt their own worth.
When Acceptance Was Never Safe
For many women, self-acceptance was never encouraged. Safety came instead from compliance. From being agreeable, adaptable, and quiet. From learning which parts of yourself were welcome and which needed to be hidden.
In homes where harm exists, this becomes a survival strategy. You learn to read moods. You learn to shrink. You learn that being yourself can carry consequences.
In these circumstances, rejecting parts of who you are is not a failure. It is something learned over time, reinforced by fear, pressure, or shame.
The First Signs of Acceptance
After harm, acceptance rarely begins with confidence. It often begins with discomfort.
It shows up as a growing awareness that something does not feel right. A tiredness that does not go away. A tension in the body that remains even in moments of calm. A quiet recognition that you have been living at a distance from yourself.
These moments can feel unsettling. They can bring grief, anger, or confusion. But they are also signs of reconnection. Acceptance begins not by fixing yourself, but by noticing yourself.
It is the decision to stop arguing with your own experience.
Holding Complexity Without Explanation
Healing is often imagined as clarity, but acceptance is more often about contradiction.
You may miss people who caused harm.
You may still care deeply while knowing you need distance.
You may feel relief and loss at the same time.
Acceptance does not require choosing one truth over another. It allows complexity to exist without demanding justification. It creates space for your story to be layered, unfinished, and real.
At Anah Project, we see women slowly giving themselves permission to hold their full experience — not just the parts that appear strong or resolved.
Culture, Identity, and the Pressure to Endure
For women from Black and minoritised communities, acceptance is often shaped by forces beyond the individual. Cultural expectations, faith, family roles, and community narratives can all influence what is considered acceptable behaviour.
Strength may be praised, but vulnerability discouraged. Endurance may be celebrated, while rest is misunderstood. Women may feel pressure to carry pain quietly, to avoid bringing shame, or to protect others at the expense of themselves.
In this context, self-acceptance can feel risky. It may feel like stepping outside expectations. It may raise fears of being seen as disloyal or ungrateful.
Acceptance here is not about rejecting culture or belief. It is about refusing harm while still honouring identity. That balance is delicate, and it deserves care.
Acceptance as a Practice, Not a Finish Line
Acceptance is not something you complete. It moves with you.
Some days it looks like speaking openly. Other days it looks like choosing rest. Sometimes it looks like anger that is finally allowed to exist without apology.
It also means accepting that healing is not linear. That progress does not always look productive. That surviving was enough when thriving felt impossible.
These are not setbacks. They are part of the work.
Staying With Yourself
On this International Day of Acceptance, we honour women who are still learning how to stay with themselves. Women who are not healed in obvious ways. Women who are not finished or fixed.
Acceptance, in this sense, is not about becoming someone new.
It is about allowing yourself to exist as you are, without conditions.
And sometimes, that is the most powerful step of all.
